The following activity is from Get Loud: Youth Engagement Workshop Guide by Adam Fletcher.



Materials: None

Space: Enough for people to work in pairs.

Time: 25 minutes



1. Introduce this activity by saying this exercise shows us how little we perceive even when we are supposedly paying focused attention on someone. Have the group divide into pairs (Person A and Person B) and sit face to face. Person A asks person B the following four questions:

• What is your name?


• Where were you born?


• What makes you happy?


• What makes you sad?

When those questions are complete, switch and have Person B ask Person A the same questions.





2. After all pairs have interviewed each other, have them sit back to back. Then the facilitator should ask the

following four questions to everyone, one question at a time. Pairs should share their answers to each other out loud:

• What color hair does your partner have? 


• Does your partner wear glasses? 


• What was your partner wearing?


• What type of shoes does your partner have? 


• When everyone is finished bring the group back together to discuss how many people got the right answers. You may change the interview questions to something that may relate more directly to the work of the group.

3. You can reflect on this activity by asking:

• Were people able to answer the second four questions? Why or why not?


• What does this tell us about how we listen and communicate? 


• How do expectations affect communication?


• How might one improve communication based on what you have learned from this activity?

The following is from Get Loud! Youth Engagement Workshop Guide by Adam Fletcher.



Use the following model to provide practice giving and receiving feedback:



I feel [feeling] when you [behavior] because [impact on you].

• Instead of “You irresponsible jerk! Where were you yesterday? We can never count on you!”


• Try “I felt irritated when you didn’t show up at the meeting yesterday because we had to postpone our goal setting.”

Rule 1: Focus on behaviors and actions, not personality.

• Instead of “You’re a totally domineering loudmouth!”


• Try “I felt frustrated at yesterday’s meeting when you interrupted several people to make your own points because I didn’t get to hear what they had to say.”

Rule 2: Be specific and concrete, avoiding vagueness and generalizations.

• Instead of “You are always late for things.”


• Try “I was upset when you came late to the event because I had to do your work as well as my own.”

TIP If you can’t come up with a concrete example, think again about the feedback you are trying to give. Is it accurate, or just your perception? 



Rule 3: Time your feedback well.

• Don’t give feedback so long after the actual incident that heshe has trouble even remembering. 


• Don’t give feedback so soon after the incident that the person isn’t really ready to hear it.


• Don’t give feedback when the person isn’t ready to listen. For example, he/she is on the way out and doesn’t


• have time, is with a group of people, or is in a bad mood.


• Do pick a good time and place so that you both can be focused and capable of listening.

Rule 4: Do no harm.

• Don’t just go off on someone so that you feel better.


• Check your attitude and your motivations for giving feedback before you speak. Ask yourself why you want


• to give this person feedback.


• Do sincerely try to give people information that is going to help them and be reasonable with your expectations.

Rule 5: Deal with one item of information at a time.

• Don’t say, “I feel angry when you don’t take out the trash or do the dishes or pick up your things or vacuum the floor because this place is a mess!”


• Don’t confuse the receiver with lots of big words or go into a long drawn-out speech and get straight to the point. 


• Do pick one thing to focus on for now.

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The following is a training activity from Get Loud! Youth Engagement Workshop Guide by Adam Fletcher.





Back-to-Back Communications

  

Materials: Blank paper and pencils for half the group and slips of paper with simple drawings on them for the other half.

Space: Enough for people to work in pairs

Time: Approximately 30 minutes



1. Ask the group to divide into pairs. Ask the pairs to sit back to back and designate themselves Person A and Person B. Person A is given a slip of paper with a simple design (preferably abstract). Person A attempts to explain the design and instruct Person B in how to draw it. Person B may not talk! They have 10 minutes (variation: After 5 minutes, tell them that Person B may now talk). If time allows, have partners switch roles, shuffle a new design, and have them try again.



2. Most likely, the drawings will look nothing like they should, illustrating the importance—and the difficulty—of clear communication. This shows us clearly that what we think we are saying may not be what others hear. Reflect on this activity by asking:

• What strategies for describing the picture seemed to work? Why? 


• In what situations might those kinds of strategies also be useful?


• How can you be clearer and more precise?

3. Explain that the clearer we are in our communication, the less likely we are to run into misunderstandings (and the anger and confusion that can accompany them).

There is a moral imperative inherent in youth rights and youth involvement. Rather than seeing the situation as a purely charitable consideration, or a civic responsibility, I believe it is a soul-wrenching mistake to deny young people the full rights of citizenship, effectively making them second class citizenry. That's because denying anyone is wrong.



It is from this place that I want to propose an economic strategy to bring awareness and conscientiousness to the related, but not identical, movements for youth rights and youth involvement. The youth rights movement is primarily concerned with securing more civil rights for youth - the rights to voting, better education, etc. The youth involvement movement focuses on the same, but more along the lines of systemic integration that focuses on more youth councils, more youth forums, youth research, youth teachers, etc. The commonality between these two movements is that they both focus on participatory rights for young people, rather than the right to protection, which is what many old-line children's rights organizations focus on.



Because of this commonality of these efforts I propose that the connection between these two movements be made more explicit and drawn more acutely. This would mean identifying the key principles that connect the two arenas connection, and drawing out the opportunities for collaboration and communication.



Later I will post a draft set of principles I am proposing in order to begin this dialog. I'd love to know what you think!